Epiphanies

So, I have been in the beautiful mountains of Pennsylvania for about five weeks now and I am finally starting to feel like this is a place that I could make home. Without all of the things that I have become accustomed to such as belly dance, yoga, friends, whole food markets, The Heritage, and Starbucks, I have been feeling a little down. I think that I have also been spending a good portion of my free time gaining more introspect on what I want in my life. I've spent a great deal of time drilling, reading, and meditating. Subsequently, I've also done a lot of moping around the house blaming my husband and the snow for my 'cabin fever' AKA evil witch attitude.

Last night, many things in my family life came to a head and I realized once again, that I have been suffering from a source that is of my own design. I spent a couple hours tonight listening to the Venerable Robina Courtin's interpretations of the teachings of Buddhism on why bad things happen to us and how we allow an inherited practice of being depressed manifest itself into our current loves. Instead of saying woe is me because I am in this foreign place void of all of the things that I love, I have chosen not to lose myself or my intrinsic happiness to it. There are a multitude of opportunities for me here that were not there for me in Virginia and I haven't lost anything so long as I practice my own version of happiness.

Tomorrow night, I am going to start taking lessons from a cabaret (gasp) teacher here in the local area. I spoke with her earlier in the week and she basically told me that we are most likely at the same level just at different areas of dance. But, I really think that it is important that I get out there and make the most of what there is in this city and learn what I can from each person and each experience that I can, teach to others what gifts that I can, and set up as many haflas as I can... because we all know one has to have a party. Besides, I went in to Giant Eagle today and saw that it has a full natural foods section with all of the falafel and couscous a little hippy girl could ever want to cook-I never felt so at home.

A Common Misconception... but a Misconception Nonetheless

I always strive to begin things on a positive note. So, I'll find a way to make things positive from this event...

Last night, I made it back home from D.C. where I attended the General Skills Course through Fat Chance Belly Dance and received my GS certification (can I get a woo hoo?). This morning, I returned back to the not so glamorous corporate life that I lead in order to fulfill my family's needs and keep my dance on going. Having been gone for a few days, it was natural to field a lot of 'So, how was your weekend?' type questions.

I had told a few people that I was going to a belly dance workshop, but not that many. So, imagine my surprise when I was asked how the 'pole dancing conference' went. I wasn't really prepared for that, but I did my best to explain that it was a belly dance workshop and that it was instructed by a world renowned instructor... to which I received a sarcastic laced 'belly dance- I couldn't possibly see how I could have confused that for pole dancing (with laughter)?!'

Now, we all know in the belly dance community that there are people who compare us to 'adult entertainers.' However, I had never had such an open display of this from anyone and most especially another woman. Being an ambassador of my craft, I attempted to explain that ATS is merely one style of belly dance that blends folkloric and world dances and that there are many more facets to belly dance in general that goes so far beyond the Vegas stereotype.

I was met with the response of... 'oh, you really take that seriously. I guess I shouldn't joke about it-so, do you wear one of those crystals in your belly, too?' I never felt so defeated in my life and it took every ounce of power in me not to cry. I was crushed to see the ignorance that people have towards dance and wished for a moment that I could take all of the hours of practice, thrill of my performances, love from my sister dancers... just everything and place it in a ball and have her experience it all at once.

Our art is so often overlooked, misconstrued, and apparently laughed at. I really would love if every woman in the world could experience a true (non-Hollywood) live performance just once. Even better, I would love for everyone in the world to have been able to gaze upon Carolena as her zils fluttered through the air as she stood in the corner just jamming to music or slithering through the air to Al Green.